Friday, 14 August 2015

Surmounting the Challenges of Long Distance Relationships

Couples are finding more reasons to seek long distance relationship advice because of the seemingly insurmountable challenges of maintaining this kind of relationship. It is great to have someone to call your sweetheart, but having a love life is not that easy when the person you are in a relationship with is thousands of miles away. No one really intends to be in a long distance relationship just because of the innate difficulties of such a setup. Nevertheless, sometimes love just blooms between people who do not live in the same city, or in some cases not even the same country. It happens a lot these days since the Internet and telecommunications systems allow for more intimate long distance communications. In other instances, people who spend a lot of time together and eventually fall in love end up leaving to stay in other places for extended periods due to work or other circumstance.
Difficult but not impossible to maintain
Being physically apart hurts. This is especially true if you want nothing more than to be near the person that you love all the time. Relationships are plagued by doubts and fears, but these worries are more pronounced in couples who are far apart most of the time.
The most relevant question is whether the couple has what it takes to survive the situation. At first, the excitement of the first few days of being in love drowns everything else. Eventually, reality catches up with them and sometimes reality bites. However, this kind of relationship only fails if the people involved takes on a defeatist attitude. Though difficult, long distance couples succeed in forging a stronger bond despite the distance. It is not an impossible task, but it takes a clear understanding of what it takes to maintain a long distance relationship for the set up to work.
Thoughts to stay away from
The downfall of a long-distance relationship or any relationship for that matter is doubt. It is natural to feel doubt, especially in the long lulls between the times that you spend together as a couple. It is also quite natural to ask for reassurance. However, if doubt dominates the relationship, then it is doomed to fail for sure. Moreover, self-defeating thoughts and frustrations do not help at all. Giving into hopelessness only makes it more difficult to cope with the absence of the loved one. Instead, the couple must focus on finding new ways to express their love and reciprocate their mutual admiration. Being positive and optimistic is the best approach to take in order to avoid heartache and pain.
Prioritize the one you love
Relocating to another city and being away from the person you love means juggling schedules and dealing with difference in time zone, in some situations. Making time is given a new context, but if the person you are in a relationship with is a priority, then it should not be that complicated. If setting aside time for this person is at the top of your list, and then there is no chance for the relationship to fail, despite everyone else predicting it will not last.

Leaving Home for Love

Sauntering down the avenue of Champs Elysees, inhaling the refreshing air of the majestic Jardin Des Tuileries, indulging in the gourmet dishes served in the most celebrated restaurants in Paris as I behold the pageantry of Persians going by their quotidian lives- I really miss Paris. These are among the many elements which are depicted in my paintings. With all my traits entrenched in the city of Paris, I never thought I'd leave France for love.

Love. I never thought I was one to find it. Ill-fated in all my pursuit, I reached my nadir two years ago when I thought I was never going to find my better half.

As I continued to wallow in my misery, my friend who lives in the US came to Paris to exhibit her paintings. We started catching up with old times; she began to sooth me over my failed love affairs. Being the good friend that she always was, she began rummaging through ideas on how to find love. She suggested I sign up on a dating site, a site she swore many single wealthy men and successful singles found their sweethearts. "Est tu malade? I can't even find love in real life, and you think I could find it online?" I scoffed at the idea. But she twisted my arm and had me sign up either ways.

As a visual artist myself, I opted for those men who were in my field. Fortunately I found a handsome curator who spoke fluent French, but unfortunately lived in London. The relationship was moving at a faster pace than I had anticipated. We both were practically interested in the same things: Art, Music, Food and movies. Almost on a daily basis we would call each other, have these adorable video dates.

Our first real date, however, came three months later when I invited him to Paris for my Art exhibition at Musee du quai Branly. The best part was that he wasn't new to Paris; he had frequented the city for business matters, and he knew all the romantic spots to set our dates. Those brief five days were overflowing with delirious giggles and endless gazes at each other's eyes.

Our felicity was abbreviated upon his departure to London. We tried returning to our usual romantic routines, but those days we spent in Paris were what we secretly lusted. So we arranged another date- this time me visiting London. The romance continued and culminated to the point where another departure met its Waterloo. After dilating on who should move, I decided I should be the one, because as an artist I was able to work anywhere, whereas he as a curator who owned a gallery in London couldn't.

Just like that, I moved to London, leaving my family and my whole life behind. But it was all worth it. He fulfills me in ways that words cannot suffice to depict. It's been a year and half now and our love is still fresh. I can't believe I found my better half, and my new muse: London.